Daring Greatly (by Brene Brown)

"You can't swing a cat without hitting a narcissist."

 

Love is uncertain. It's increadibly risky. And loving someone leaves us emotionally exposed. Yes. it's scary and yes, we're open to being hurt, but can you imagine your life without loving or being loved?

Only when we're brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

 

In order to be vunerable, we need to develop resilience to shame. 
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The allegorical power of Harry Potter lends itself to talking about everything from the struggle between light and dark to the hero's journey and why vunerability and love are the truest marks of courage. 

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How to defense ourselve from the shame attack

 

1. Practice courage and reach out. Yes, I want to hide, but the way to fight sahme and to honor who we are is by sharing our experience with someone who has earned the right to hear it-someone who loves us, not despite our vulnerabilities, but because of them.

2. Talk to myself the way I would talk to someone I really love and whom I'm trying to comfort in the midst of a meltdown: You're okay. You're human-we all make mistakes. I've got your back. Normally during a shame attack we talk to ourselves in way we would NEVER talk to people we love and respect.

3. Own the story! Don't bury it and let it fester or define me. I often say this aloud: "If you own this story you get to write the ending. If you own this story you get to write the ending." When we bury the story we forever stay the subject of the story.